blogs about awakening
Although it was many years ago, I clearly remember that “aha moment” I had at the time. It was back during my 15 year tenure as a trial court judge. I was standing and talking with a small group of friends as we were waiting for the start of a prolife dinner we were attending. Seemingly, out of nowhere, an Asian OB/GYN doctor walked up to our little group and burst out with a question, “Do you know why we have legal abortion in America?” Before I could respond with my obvious answer: “Because of Roe v Wade,” the doctor answered his own question with a statement that seemed at the time to be crazy, “Because of artificial contraception!” With that, he walked off.
While at first I totally dismissed the doctor’s strange perspective, what he said simply would not leave my mind. Like a stick of dynamite within my skull, his words began to explode in a number of unexpected ways. And as I prayed about what he said, God began to show me there was much truth in his seemingly off-the-wall statement.
Without describing each little step along the way, allow me to summarize where my thinking is now and how this truth has majorly impacted Marcia and me as a married couple.
Let me begin by posing a question to you: why do women have abortions? Those of us who are prolife often naively assume that those who abort their unborn simply have a desire to kill. But, if we take a moment to think a bit more deeply about this question, we need to concede that the real reasons are far less cruel. In fact, according to the pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute, 86 percent of women who abort fall in one of six categories: (1) the pregnant woman doesn’t feel old/mature enough to raise this child; (2) she is not ready for another child; (3) she can’t afford a baby right now; (4) she has completed her child bearing; (5) she doesn’t want to be a single mother; or (6) the baby will interfere with her education or career.
Now let me ask you this: what are the reasons Christian married couples choose to utilize artificial contraception? Aren’t their answers virtually identical to those given by the women who have abortions?
Truth be told, like women who abort, while we oppose killing the unborn, we generally are sympathetic with their motivation to not bear a child. We think it’s totally acceptable to take deliberate steps to ensure that our sexual activity does not result in a child being born. So we agree with the motivation, and we agree with the results (no child). We simply disagree with the means that are used.
Let me ask you this. What is God’s purpose for sex between a husband and his wife? More fundamentally, what is His purpose in marriage? Certainly both work to show the wonderful relationship between Jesus and His Bride (see Ephesians 5:22-33). But God also has a desire to have godly marriages produce children. “Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union.” (Malachi 2:15 NLT)
What happens when we humans begin to view sex as an end in itself rather than a means to other much more important ends? When we believe that every person is entitled to being sexually fulfilled as a fundamental human right. And that soon leads to the belief that it doesn’t really matter what form this sexual activity takes as long as it is “consensual” by all parties involved. Looking at scriptures like Romans 1, you see that this sort of living ultimately results in gender confusion and gross immorality. No wonder we have same-sex marriage and gender transitions growing in number in our day.
But isn’t it fair to say that when we Christ-followers overwhelmingly endorse sex without the possibility of allowing God to use that activity to produce a child in His image we are following our secular culture’s perspectives? And that we are thereby inadvertently promoting a worship of sex more than a love of children that ultimately results in a pro-abortion, pro-immorality culture?
But, you say, doesn’t God want us to be wise and prudent with our time and our financial and other resources? Isn’t it better to consider one’s bank balance and abilities and limit the number of children he/she has accordingly? Folks, isn’t Jesus to be Lord of EVERY area of life? Why do we think this area is ours to decide, not the One who makes children in the womb? (See how God is the one who knits us together in the womb: Psalm 139:13; Jeremiah 1:5 Job 31:15, and Galatians 1:15).
Well, back to the comment the OB/GYN doctor made many years ago. After much thought and prayer, I concluded the doctor was right on. But then came the hard part! I needed to decide what the implications of that were going to be in my life. One of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make was, after my wife and I already had four lovely daughters (and we were very busy!), to choose to go “cold turkey” with any birth control devices and let God decide if we would have more children. Marcia was excited. I was fearful. Yet I am so glad we obeyed our Lord!
So did we have more? You might say so! Eight more children later, we are the incredibly proud and happy parents of a dozen children! And each one is so very special and is touching lives for God in incredible ways! All glory to HIM! And, by the way, God did provide big enough houses, and vans and even dropped college tuition from on high! (He’s not running out of money soon!)
There is so much more to say on this subject. We include much of it in our book, Sweeter by the Dozen: Making Jesus the Lord of Our Family Size.
He is the executive director of The Grand Awakening.